How Patton Oswalt's Defense of Ben Affleck Applies to a Self-Published Writer

Thought I would share part of Patton Oswalt's status today concerning Ben Affleck as Batman, but not because of the whole Ben as Batman bru-ha-ha. I'm sharing this because I think it applies to so many of us, and I think we could learn a thing or two from what Patton Oswalt is saying about Ben Affleck. I know it applies to me, as a writer. And one self-publishing, especially. I'll explain after.

"Plus, everyone seems to forget that he had the world dropped in his lap when he was YOUNG. And, judging by how other suddenly-famous youngsters do in the same situation, he fared pretty well. Even when it went wrong, he seemed to keep a self-deprecating, long-view philosophy about the burning freak carousel he'd found himself on.

And then what happened? I mean, he'd fallen from a HEIGHT. You know what happens to 95% of people who weather a descent that steep? They come apart, fray at all of their sanity nodes, and give up.

But then there's the 5% who embrace crushing defeat and see it for the gift it is. And here's the gift: when you fail, and fail UTTERLY, you wake up the next morning and see that the world didn't end. And then the fear of failure is gone. And you're free. You're free to proceed on your own terms and pace -- if you have the ego that permits you to.

Ben brushed himself off, realized he'd kept his eyes open on the movies he'd done, and started directing. And he's become a damn good one."

Starting out in the publishing world, we are riding high after high. We finished a novel! We let people read our novel! People liked our novel! We're going to publish our novel! (Or someone wants to publish it for you--which can be a much bigger high than just doing it yourself.) We're scheduling our blog tours! We're getting likes on our Facebook pages! People are adding our books to their Goodreads lists!

From http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/feels

Then what happens? We hit "publish" and hopefully don't hear crickets. But chances are we won't be overnight success stories. The truth of gaining any footing as a published writer is that it takes time and perseverance. It takes getting one star reviews and watching sales dwindle. It takes more than one book, most people say. In a lot of ways, our first books can feel like failures, unless we have realistic expectations. And even then, can we fight against the hope those expectations will be surpassed by a long shot? I'm not sure I can, no matter how many times I say I'll be happy if I just sell ten copies. 

So what do we do when we feel like we've failed? Like Patton Oswalt says: We wake up the next morning, realize the world hasn't ended, and move forward with a since of freedom. We are artists. We are here to express ourselves. Sales should come second to that, and it's important to keep that in mind as we venture forth to our next books and keep riding the roller coaster of the literary world, embracing every up and down along the way. And maybe even squealing like the little Geico pig all the way to our next release.

From astridonacid's tumblr

Knowing When to Throw in the Writerly Towel

No, I'm not talking about giving up on a story you are writing. I don't give up easily on story ideas. But I am talking about goals today, and knowing when they might be too much.

I set a goal for myself to finish Altar of Reality by the end of the month and to win CampNaNoWriMo in the process. Today is the last day of the month, and though my bar looks really close, it is too far away for me to manage.

I've been plugging away for the past week with an average of 5k a day. And if I had continued my 5k a day average, I would have finished on time. But a lot of things got in the way, as they usually do with life. The same thing happened to me during the last CampNaNo as well.

So how do we know when to throw in the towel? Easy. When you are sacrificing your own health in order to meet your goals. Which is exactly what I was doing.

As some of you may know, I recently landed myself in the mother of all braces--the thumb spica splint. I have carpal tunnel and tendonitis in my left wrist, which is pretty painful. It wouldn't be so painful if not for the fact that it keeps popping, so I essentially keep injuring myself. Part of that has to do with work as well. Needless to say, it has slowed me down quite a bit. I risked writing without the splint on after I spent about an hour convincing myself the splint was causing me more pain than good, but was quickly proved wrong on that.

And pretty soon, I had to admit to myself that pushing myself to write 5k a day was not helping matters at all. I had to leave work early last night because it was hurting so bad. On the way home, I started thinking about how I would have extra time to write from leaving early. But by the time I got home and sat in front of my laptop, I realized it wasn't worth it.

Sure, I love winning NaNo. I've only done it twice in the times I've attempted it, and I really wanted to claim a third victory with my new WIP. But I have to start taking care of myself. My hands are such an asset for both career paths I plan on attempting (writing and physical therapy), which means they are invaluable and I need them to work right.

I'm supposed to get my brace off next week, but my hopes aren't high for that happening since I'm still in pain and things keep popping. But I do know that I will be making sure I actually rest my arm this time. No more 5k days. And I might take some time off work, at least for a week or so. Working at a grocery store requires both hands more than you would think, and my tendency to be stubbornly independent and not ask for help carrying things or stop bagging isn't helping the healing process.

So, in conclusion, I might not be the one-armed wonder after all. But if that means I get to keep writing with both hands for years and years, I am good with that. My well-being has to come before my words. 

The Paranoia That Accompanies Posting Your Work Online

As I talked about in my last blog, I decided to post Heirs of War on Wattpad as I edit. I've posted all the way up to chapter 16 and am currently banging my head against the brick wall that is chapter 17 and the changes that need to be made.

But I digress. So, I've been trying to become active in the Wattpad community because, well, that's what you do. I tried to do the same with Figment, but in getting so overwhelmed by spam, I just deleted my account. Which I feel bad about because I promised some people I would read their story. One thing I have learned to be annoyed by is the people in the writing community who want something for nothing. Don't expect people to read your work or comment on your work in a contest if you aren't willing to do the same. Make a commitment to the community and you will reap the rewards.

That's a soapbox for another day, I suppose. Because the point of this blog is all about writerly insecurity. Yup, I has it. I didn't think I did. Well, not that bad anyway. But man does this whole read counts and voting system really screw with a novice writer's head. I might even blame it for my current dilemma with chapter 17. You see, I have (currently) 155 reads according to my title page with the blurb. Does that mean 155 people have read that page, or total for the story? No clue. I explored the site but didn't find an answer, got frustrated, and went back to writing.

Moving on. Chapter 1 has 61 reads, and chapters 2 and 16 have 9. But! Some of the in between chapters have as little as 2 reads. Does that mean people are skipping around? Or the reads count is inaccurate? No clue.

Moving on. Out of 61 reads, I only have 2 votes (both by people I know). Does this mean it sucks? Or do people wait until the story is complete to vote for it? No clue.

And not sure if I should move on. I'm wondering if maybe this whole Wattpad thing is creating more of a fuss in my head than it has the potential to give me reassurance that all my effort is worth it. I'm not willing to do the whole "Read/vote for my story, and I'll read/vote for yours" thing that annoyed me so much on Figment. I've got a list of stories I am going to critique, but I made it clear they owed me nothing but patience in return. If someone is going to read my story, I want it to be because they like it, not because of some deal.

Maybe that means I am the wrong kinda author for sites like that. I'm going to give Fictionpress a shot since they don't appear to have anything like the systems used on Wattpad and Figment. And I suppose I will keep posting on Wattpad until the story is done...but not with much confidence I will gain anything at this point.

What the Heck Am I Doing?

Have you ever had one of those "Well, duh!" type epiphanies? The ones that come out of nowhere (usually in the wee hours of the morning when you have to be at work at 7am, of course), blindsiding you with how obvious this revelation should have been to you even though it has been hiding for months?

I had one of those last night. Complete with interrupted sleep (Which might explain the rambliness of at least this post. The others? I'll get back to you with an excuse later). I've been working on my YA Dystopian WIP for a couple of months now, letting Heirs of War sit on the backburner until I get done. I hate interrupting one story to work on another. It messes up my flow.

So I decided when I started the WIP that I would write it to finish with the first draft. After all, it's a YA book so it's not like it will be the 200k that HoW 2 is trying to be. Shouldn't take much time for someone used to 5-10k days like me. Right?

Wrong. Apparently there's this little thing called life that gets in the way. So months later, I am only 10k in. Not a big deal. I'll just push through. I had said that I would give HoW another edit this summer, but I can push it off. No problem.

Wrong again. Here's the epiphany I had: HoW is much closer to being publication-ready than my WIP. I am most likely going to end up self-publishing HoW, so basically it is waiting on me. I just received some AMAZING notes from a critique partner (ahemRachelahem), so I now have some solutions to problems I've been puzzling over for almost a year. So why wait? Why hold back in the hopes of finishing one story's rough draft when I might be close to the final draft of another?

So I've decided to shelve the WIP and finish HoW, getting it ready once and for all for publication. I shouldn't be so proud of this revelation since it really is the most obvious choice, but I am. I feel good about it. And one thing I have learned in this business so far is to hold on to that feeling. 

Why Third Person is My Writerly Comfy Blanky

I love writing third person. To me, it is so freeing. I love bouncing around from one character's head to the next. (Sometimes a little too much, as can be witnessed from the earlier drafts of Heirs of War). I've always written in third person. Maybe this habit stems from my first ventures into writing being in the form of scripts, or maybe I just enjoy pretending I'm the ever-omniscient (and in no way benevolent if you ask my characters) god of the world I've created. Who knows?

Either way, third person is definitely my preferred POV when writing. Which is exactly why I decided to write my new WIP (Altar of Reality) from the POV of the main character. Big deal, right? Oh, did I mention the main character is a teenager?

Before my beta readers remind me that Zelene and Ariana were both seventeen when Heirs of War started, I would like to stress that this teenager (sixteen, to be exact) is just your normal run-of-the-mill kinda gal. Biggest problem she has is epilepsy. That changes as the story moves on, but the point is she has no reason to be more mature than any other sixteen year old like Zelene did and like Ariana was forced to become with a quickness.

So, yeah...totally outside my comfort zone right now. And for the first time in my entire life I am having to force myself to sit down and write. With HoW, I had to force myself to stop. 10k days were pretty common to me. But this WIP is just supposed to be a much simpler tale in comparison, and yet it is so much harder to write.

I've been trying to figure that out as of late. I think it boils down to the same reason I don't blog a whole lot. It's not that I don't like talking about myself (well...mainly I just don't have much to say on that front. I write. A lot. The end.), but my personal story is so much more narrow than what I like. I love stories that are rich with characters, and I find that very hard to do with just one character telling the tale. Is it possible? Sure. I loved The Hunger Games and Vampire Academy, both of which have very lively worlds and characters with the story all told from one character's perspective. The question is: Can I do that?

Time (and beta readers) will tell. But for now, the moral of the story is this: Although the comfy blanky is, indeed, comfortable and safe, sometimes you really need to weather the storm without it. Because only then will you be faced with the questions I've talked about here, and only then will you start to grow as a writer.

My Husband, My Writerly Hero

I should get him a cape. Seriously.

You see, a couple of months ago, I dropped my laptop. On my arm. I know, I know, it's hard to picture, but somehow I accomplished this. My wrist was braced at the time (suspected carpal tunnel) and I was trying to stick it in my book bag one handed, using the injured arm to hold open the bag. It slipped from my good hand and landed straight on my arm, giving me a nice bruise the size of...well, something damn big.

I was more concerned for my laptop than my arm at the time, but the laptop seemed fine. Soon enough, my arm didn't. After doing my best impression of the one-armed cashier (and still managing to be faster than everyone else--seriously. My IPMs rock.) for a few weeks, I sucked it up and went to the doctor. Verdict: No break or fracture, but the mother of all contusions (essentially). So life went on. And CampNaNo was about to start right when I seem to have made a full recover. Win? Win.

Wrong. Funny thing started happening around the time I posted here saying I'd be participating in CampNaNo. I discovered that my hands felt really hot from typing. Really, really hot.Then I realized my laptop was awfully quiet. After closer inspection from probably the least observant writer in the world, it finally came to my attention that my exhaust fan had stopped working.

Panic ensued. My husband tried to set me up on his laptop and I tried to use my tablet. I fought with SkyDrive to show me the most updated version of my WIP (to no avail). I played video games and took out my frustrations on every baddy that crossed my path. But I felt naked--nay, empty, without my laptop.

My husband must have sensed my distress (or possibly took note of how much I was yelling at the electronics in the house), because he came to the rescue. He ordered a new fan, certain the old one had burned out, and spent an entire afternoon slaving over it until he found the vicious culprit responsible for the demise of my precious. 

Yup. A centimeter-long piece of plastic has kept me from any real writing (and peace of mind) for the past couple of weeks. Just goes to show you that even the smallest of obstacles can create a road block (or writerly block, as in my case) if you let it.

Striking a Writerly Balance with Editing

Wow, it really has been a minute since I've blogged about my own writerly exploits, hasn't it? Well, I have been hosting quite a few blog tour stops, which are incredibly exciting. I love interviewing these authors and hearing all about their new books. The downside to this is that my reading list has been growing exponentially, but I have hope that one day I will get around to reading them all.

The other thing keeping me from personal blogging has been the very personal--and very trying--editing journey I've been on since November. I have learned so much over these past couple months to make my novel even better. Here are just a few nuggets of wisdom I'd like to share:

1. Be very wary of the words "that" and "of" as most of the time they are filler words.
2. Don't head jump. If you have a story told from multiple POVs, stick to one person's head per chapter. If you can't do that (which I have discovered I can't since so many people are involved in mine), try to stick to one person's POV per scene. Abiding by this rule cut my 149k manuscript down to 119k easily. 
3. Try to get your hands on a Style Guide. This will make editing so much easier. Belle Bridge Books has a basic one on their site, but I would recommend checking out misused words and passive sentences.
4. Don't think you know everything about comma usage. Finding out you don't will be very humbling.
5. Don't be discouraged! Editing is a tough and time consuming process that all writers have to go through. They don't lie when they say writing the first draft is half the battle. Realistically, the first draft is probably only a quarter of the battle when you factor in editing, querying, and marketing in general.

This last one is easier said than done, and it is something I've been struggling with since I started the hardcore process of editing Heirs of War. Here's the thing: I always say that I am a far better storyteller than I am writer. My prose is weak at best, but I have a knack for creating characters that jump off the page and storylines that twist and turn. So when I really take a look at my prose, I tend to be more than a little shamed by it. I have no flourish with words. I'm no George RR Martin and if I reread Tolkien right now I would probably cry. I would actually describe my prose as dry, to be completely honest.

Now, before you start arguing that you are you're your own worse critic, hear me out. I had a bit of an epiphany tonight. My manuscript was 149k long before I started editing. Even now at 119k, some might argue that it is still too long. If I try to flourish, first of all it won't be me. I have my own style (which some have called "conversational", I think meaning my writing seems like I am telling you the story), and flourish isn't part of it. Not to mention the fact that I am pretty sure I would be bad at it. Second of all, my wordcount would go up exponentially. Again. And that would definitely be bad.

So what is the biggest lesson that I have learned throughout this whole editing process? My writing style is just that--mine. And that is okay. At the end of the day, I still love my characters and the stories they have and I want to share them. So I will continue to push through what I am now considering to be my first round of major edits so that I can do exactly that--share them.

The good news is that I am almost done with said round of edits. Going through misused and compound words, then running each chapter through Autocrit (Best. Writerly. Investment. Ever.) and I will be back to sending the manuscript off (provided certain possibilities on the horizon don't pan out, but I still have my secretive fingers crossed).

The Writerly Chopping Block (AKA: Editing)

For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you probably already know that I am doing some serious edits on Heirs of War right now. I have been lucky enough to get some great advice from a published author who has taken a bit of interest in the book. One of my biggest issues: POV switches. What does that mean? Well, I like to switch between different characters' perspectives.

In the same scene.

I was calling it third person omniscient, but you might have also heard it referred to as the head-bounce. This term is probably a bit more accurate. Omniscient is a breeze to write in for me. I, obviously, know what is going on in each of my characters' heads, whether major or minor characters. That's the beauty of being the god of this little fictional world I've created (and getting to smite people, but that's for a later blog).

As it turns out, writing in third person limited is much less confusing for the readers. Let that be Lesson Number One for you. Hopefully before you start writing your book because I will say that trying to fix that is a bitch and a half.

Another piece of advice I was given--and have been given frequently--was to cut back on how many characters' perspectives I write from. With five girls in the prophecy, I write from all five of their perspectives. And some other characters as well because they have important roles or because the scene just makes more sense when viewed from their eyes.

And this is where I am having the problem...I tried cutting two of the girls out tonight. Not even looking at the other scenes written from other characters' perspectives. Just focusing on the five main characters and how I can narrow that down for this book. And I can't.

You might be saying "Can't? Or Won't?" Well, to be honest, it's a little of both. Theoretically I could cut Terrena and Isauria's stories completely from this book and the book as a whole would make sense. But this is the trouble with writing a series. What I cut from this book messes up the next one. I know people say that you can fix that, but I honestly have no idea how. I would have to do flashbacks for Terrena. And for Isauria, there would just be no connection to her character whatsoever and she plays a much bigger role in book 2. So essentially I would be waiting to introduce one of my main characters until the second book.

Which leads me to this question: How much do you compromise your story when trying to make it marketable? I've said this before and I will say it again loudly: My goal is not to become a famous or successful published author. My goal has been and will always be to share the story of these five girls that have grown so close to my heart with other people. Why publish at all? Because I do have some business sense and this is actual work that I am doing.

That being said, I really don't want to be one of those authors that refuses to compromise anything because they think they already have the best thing since sliced bread. I like to think of myself as pretty open-minded and willing to accept criticisms. But what do I do if I feel like cutting those POVs entirely makes my book less-than? Do I compromise? Because I know the advice makes complete and absolute sense. One of the biggest complaints my beta-readers all had was that there were too many characters and it was hard to keep up with them all. Will ceasing the head-bouncing help this a little? Probably. Would limiting the story to only Zelene, Ariana, and Rhaya's perspectives help even more? Hell yes.

But would it be the same story? That, my friends, I am not so sure about.

I suppose that answer is for another day, though. Until then, I am going to keep the girls in and use a header for each POV change to see if that helps clear confusion. Wish me luck!

Why I Both Love and Hate the Month of October

There are the usual reasons why I both love and hate the month of October. I love Halloween, but hate trying to fit into any of the cute Halloween costumes for fear of looking like a stuffed sausage. Being in the hot-as-Hades South, I love the change in weather as it begins to actually feel like fall but hate that I always seem to get sick when that happens (completely feel that coming on, by the way).

But there's more now that I have delved into the World Wide Writing Web with a finished manuscript. I have only been in the WWWW since the summer, but I am finding that October is a very exciting literary month for the unpublished such as myself. Here are a few reasons why:

1. GUTGAA is still going on and is now in the final contest--the Small Press Pitch Contest. Editors from Sapphire Star, Bell Bridge Books, Entangled Publishing, and many more will be browsing the finalists' entries and hopefully asking for more. I've made it into the first round with a completely revised query and judging starts tomorrow! I will probably be posting about everything I learned after all is said and done next week.

2. Over at New Adult Alley, they are going to be doing their Editor in the Alley Pitch Contest starting October 3rd. Since I believe my MS is most definitely NA, I am VERY excited about this. The editor is from Entangled Publishing, so I'm not sure my MS fits with them but it is still bound to be a great learning experience even if nothing more comes of it. Needless to say, I am entering and hope to get in.

3. The clever minds over at Writer Therapy are holding a first page contest. Submissions are now closed (Yes, I entered) and finalists are going to be announced this week. I like my first page (especially since I submitted the first page to chapter one and not the prologue--another lesson learned with GUTGAA I will get to next week). Now I just hope they like my first page.

And last but not least....

4. Harper Voyager is officially--as of this moment while I am typing this and not watching the Writer Therapy webisodes (gah, they make me want a critique group)--accepted unsolicited manuscripts for their digital press series thingy that they do. They'll be accepting submissions from October 1st (NOW!) to October 14th. Do I plan to submit? A big hell yes to that! I have a finished manuscript that I am currently repolishing and since it is digital press, their word count allowance seems to be a bit higher. Mine is still much higher than that, but I'm working on it and crossing my fingers that they won't turn it down based on that.

So how could any of this possibly be bad? I thought you might ask (or the announcer guy in my head might). Well, none of them are really. Just anxiety inducing. Let's go through the list one by one.

1. Querying is a pain. All writers know this. Querying an epic fantasy is a HUGE pain since you need to do it in around 250 words. I gave up on counting my words and just tried to keep the new query crisp and concise while leaving the reader scratching their head as little as possible. I'm still not sure I accomplished this though and never feel like my query does my MS justice. One of my biggest issues with it? I had to pick one character to tell the story from in the query when their are really five with equally important stories. Pretty sure working on this query has given me an ulcer.

2. See number one. Also, I will add that since I am submitting to editors, I had to prep a synopsis. If you are a writer, you understand. Synopses come in a close second to queries on the writerly pain in the ass scale. Oh, and I just finished said synopsis. (Special thanks to Lindsey for critiquing it for me!) Fairly certain my query-ulcer now has a twin in the form of synopsis-ulcer.

3. This one isn't really all that stressful, to be honest. I'm pretty satisfied with my first page and have gotten some pretty good feedback on it so far in GUTGAA. Crossing my fingers to get in!

4. Did you see the part where I said I am still re-polishing my manuscript? I have a copy editor that I refer to as the word-cutter extraordinaire when speaking about her (Stephanie, you rock) but unfortunately volunteer copy editors have their own lives to contend with. She's given me some great insight in her feedback so far and I am trying to apply it to the rest of the MS to cut the words down some. But there's still no way I'm going to finish in the next day or so seeing as how I am only on chapter fourteen of twenty nine. I'm working off a hard copy (I edit better that way), so I still have to apply these fresh edits to the digital MS. Makes me glad I am off work tomorrow.

In summary: Hey, is that an ulcer party in my stomach or is it just the month of October?