Knowing When to Throw in the Writerly Towel

No, I'm not talking about giving up on a story you are writing. I don't give up easily on story ideas. But I am talking about goals today, and knowing when they might be too much.

I set a goal for myself to finish Altar of Reality by the end of the month and to win CampNaNoWriMo in the process. Today is the last day of the month, and though my bar looks really close, it is too far away for me to manage.

I've been plugging away for the past week with an average of 5k a day. And if I had continued my 5k a day average, I would have finished on time. But a lot of things got in the way, as they usually do with life. The same thing happened to me during the last CampNaNo as well.

So how do we know when to throw in the towel? Easy. When you are sacrificing your own health in order to meet your goals. Which is exactly what I was doing.

As some of you may know, I recently landed myself in the mother of all braces--the thumb spica splint. I have carpal tunnel and tendonitis in my left wrist, which is pretty painful. It wouldn't be so painful if not for the fact that it keeps popping, so I essentially keep injuring myself. Part of that has to do with work as well. Needless to say, it has slowed me down quite a bit. I risked writing without the splint on after I spent about an hour convincing myself the splint was causing me more pain than good, but was quickly proved wrong on that.

And pretty soon, I had to admit to myself that pushing myself to write 5k a day was not helping matters at all. I had to leave work early last night because it was hurting so bad. On the way home, I started thinking about how I would have extra time to write from leaving early. But by the time I got home and sat in front of my laptop, I realized it wasn't worth it.

Sure, I love winning NaNo. I've only done it twice in the times I've attempted it, and I really wanted to claim a third victory with my new WIP. But I have to start taking care of myself. My hands are such an asset for both career paths I plan on attempting (writing and physical therapy), which means they are invaluable and I need them to work right.

I'm supposed to get my brace off next week, but my hopes aren't high for that happening since I'm still in pain and things keep popping. But I do know that I will be making sure I actually rest my arm this time. No more 5k days. And I might take some time off work, at least for a week or so. Working at a grocery store requires both hands more than you would think, and my tendency to be stubbornly independent and not ask for help carrying things or stop bagging isn't helping the healing process.

So, in conclusion, I might not be the one-armed wonder after all. But if that means I get to keep writing with both hands for years and years, I am good with that. My well-being has to come before my words. 

What the Heck Am I Doing?

Have you ever had one of those "Well, duh!" type epiphanies? The ones that come out of nowhere (usually in the wee hours of the morning when you have to be at work at 7am, of course), blindsiding you with how obvious this revelation should have been to you even though it has been hiding for months?

I had one of those last night. Complete with interrupted sleep (Which might explain the rambliness of at least this post. The others? I'll get back to you with an excuse later). I've been working on my YA Dystopian WIP for a couple of months now, letting Heirs of War sit on the backburner until I get done. I hate interrupting one story to work on another. It messes up my flow.

So I decided when I started the WIP that I would write it to finish with the first draft. After all, it's a YA book so it's not like it will be the 200k that HoW 2 is trying to be. Shouldn't take much time for someone used to 5-10k days like me. Right?

Wrong. Apparently there's this little thing called life that gets in the way. So months later, I am only 10k in. Not a big deal. I'll just push through. I had said that I would give HoW another edit this summer, but I can push it off. No problem.

Wrong again. Here's the epiphany I had: HoW is much closer to being publication-ready than my WIP. I am most likely going to end up self-publishing HoW, so basically it is waiting on me. I just received some AMAZING notes from a critique partner (ahemRachelahem), so I now have some solutions to problems I've been puzzling over for almost a year. So why wait? Why hold back in the hopes of finishing one story's rough draft when I might be close to the final draft of another?

So I've decided to shelve the WIP and finish HoW, getting it ready once and for all for publication. I shouldn't be so proud of this revelation since it really is the most obvious choice, but I am. I feel good about it. And one thing I have learned in this business so far is to hold on to that feeling. 

Why Third Person is My Writerly Comfy Blanky

I love writing third person. To me, it is so freeing. I love bouncing around from one character's head to the next. (Sometimes a little too much, as can be witnessed from the earlier drafts of Heirs of War). I've always written in third person. Maybe this habit stems from my first ventures into writing being in the form of scripts, or maybe I just enjoy pretending I'm the ever-omniscient (and in no way benevolent if you ask my characters) god of the world I've created. Who knows?

Either way, third person is definitely my preferred POV when writing. Which is exactly why I decided to write my new WIP (Altar of Reality) from the POV of the main character. Big deal, right? Oh, did I mention the main character is a teenager?

Before my beta readers remind me that Zelene and Ariana were both seventeen when Heirs of War started, I would like to stress that this teenager (sixteen, to be exact) is just your normal run-of-the-mill kinda gal. Biggest problem she has is epilepsy. That changes as the story moves on, but the point is she has no reason to be more mature than any other sixteen year old like Zelene did and like Ariana was forced to become with a quickness.

So, yeah...totally outside my comfort zone right now. And for the first time in my entire life I am having to force myself to sit down and write. With HoW, I had to force myself to stop. 10k days were pretty common to me. But this WIP is just supposed to be a much simpler tale in comparison, and yet it is so much harder to write.

I've been trying to figure that out as of late. I think it boils down to the same reason I don't blog a whole lot. It's not that I don't like talking about myself (well...mainly I just don't have much to say on that front. I write. A lot. The end.), but my personal story is so much more narrow than what I like. I love stories that are rich with characters, and I find that very hard to do with just one character telling the tale. Is it possible? Sure. I loved The Hunger Games and Vampire Academy, both of which have very lively worlds and characters with the story all told from one character's perspective. The question is: Can I do that?

Time (and beta readers) will tell. But for now, the moral of the story is this: Although the comfy blanky is, indeed, comfortable and safe, sometimes you really need to weather the storm without it. Because only then will you be faced with the questions I've talked about here, and only then will you start to grow as a writer.